Venus Williams testing her limits

Venus Williams doesn't know how she'll feel when she steps out onto the court Tuesday to face probable opponent Agnieszka Radwanska in the second round of the French Open. But she knows she won't react the same way she did when she last played Radwanska. That meeting was in the quarterfinals of the Sony Open in Miami, Williams' first tournament back since being diagnosed with the autoimmune disease Sjogren's syndrome, which causes joint pain and fatigue. Until then, her comeback had been off to an impressive start. She had won four matches in a row, all in three sets, defeating Wimbledon champ Petra Kvitova and former French Open champ Ana Ivanovic along the way. But when Williams played Radwanska, she struggled physically, and she didn't know how to handle it. "I'm in a place where I'm learning how to play with this," Williams said in an interview in Rome two weeks ago. "I think when I first started, you know, if I felt really bad, I would panic. In Miami, I panicked in the quarters. Now if I don't feel well, I just take it point by point and just do the best that I can. I'm taking it step by step." The first step was simply understanding what was wrong. Williams shared the news of her illness during the U.S. Open last year. "I think receiving a diagnosis made a big difference for me," she said. "It makes it easier for me to understand why I feel the way I feel instead of being in the dark and just completely confused every day of the week." The next step: accepting the situation. She struggled to come to terms with the illness for about eight months, she adds, but now knows it is something she has to learn to manage. "Yeah, I'm getting more calm, because I realize this is my life now, and I have to do the best I can with this," she said. But knowing how to manage it is something else altogether. After coming through her opening match at the French Open in three sets, Williams admitted that much was still a mystery. "I don't know what helps, what hurts, so it's all so new I don't even know what makes a difference and if I can make a difference," she told reporters. "So I don't know if it's things I do or don't do, or if it's just the day." She still has her down moments. "Sometimes I wonder if it's something that I'm doing. 'Did I do something wrong?'" Williams said. "But then I snap out of that pretty quick nowadays." Williams rarely gives much away, so that kind of revelation is almost the equivalent of a weepy tell-all TV interview for her. She has been emotional during news conferences of late, appearing to be near tears when told in Rome that she was moving into the top 50. In Paris, she frequently broke into laughter, sometimes even after mundane utterances. The seven-time Grand Slam champion is back largely to try to qualify for the Olympics, a goal she has likely achieved and could clinch by winning her second-round match. In order to get a spot, Williams would need to be at least the fourth-highest-ranked American and have a world ranking not much higher than No. 56. She is currently No. 53 (and rising) and the third-ranked American. Entries will close after the French Open. Williams has a decorated Olympic past, winning the singles gold in 2000 and the doubles in 2000 and 2008 with sister Serena. If she gets to play another Games later this summer, "You might not see me the rest of the year," she warns. But Williams also has a larger goal. "I have this challenge ahead of me to see how far I can get, and see, how much back I can get," she said. "So that challenge is important for me to face and to have the courage to face it." A rematch against world No. 3 Radwanska would be a significant test of how far she has come. Williams' game is clearly still effective at the highest level, but her serve and forehand have also shown their old tendency to break down at times. And though neither of the two is particularly fond of clay, Radwanska's game is far more suited to the surface. On the other hand, she has also been dealing with a back problem and could be tired after playing and winning the title in Brussels last week. Whatever the outcome, however, Williams will learn a little more about where she's at, and where she's going, in this new journey of hers.